The Truth I Didn’t Expect to Face — When Admiration Turns Into Idolisation

During a recent planning session with Saskia, we found ourselves deep in conversation—not about strategy or upcoming content, but about the unspoken power dynamics that can quietly shape our relationships with mentors.

She shared a personal story about how, earlier in her journey, she unknowingly began to idolise one of her mentors. She was reflecting on how she used to take everything her mentor said as absolute truth, holding it with the kind of reverence we usually reserve for something sacred. And as she spoke, something in me clicked.

I realised: I’ve done that, too.

In fact, she gently reflected back to me that she sees me doing something similar in our dynamic. And that was difficult to hear—not because she was wrong, but because deep down, I already knew. I just hadn’t found the words or the courage to name it yet.

The Realisation That Made Me Pause

When someone we admire deeply has walked a path ahead of us, it’s easy to put them on a pedestal. We look up to them. We hang on to their words. We try to implement their lessons. That’s not wrong—in many ways, it’s a beautiful part of being mentored. But there’s a line. A subtle but important one. And it’s crossed when we start believing that someone else’s wisdom is greater than our own. When we stop discerning. When we begin to adopt every insight, every suggestion, and every belief as if it were the absolute truth—without checking in with our own intuition.

In that moment, I had to be honest with myself. Sometimes I admire Saskia so much that I internalise her truth before checking if it’s my own. I believe in her so much that I forget to believe in myself at the same level.

Mentorship Is Meant to Activate, Not Override

One thing that’s become clear to me is this: The best mentors don’t want you to copy them. They want to help you hear your own voice more clearly. They’re not here to be idolised—they’re here to walk alongside you, offering guidance as you find your own way. That’s what I remembered after our meeting.

Yes, Saskia has walked paths I haven’t yet. She’s wise, experienced, and often says the things I wish I had the words—or courage—to say. But that doesn’t mean I don’t carry wisdom of my own. It just means I’m still learning how to trust it.

How I’m Reclaiming My Inner Compass

I’m learning to approach mentorship differently now. Instead of taking everything at face value, I’m asking myself:

• Does this align with what I truly believe
• Does this resonate with how I want to show up in the world?
• Am I inspired to take this on—or just afraid to disagree?
• And most importantly: Am I honouring both the person guiding me and the wisdom that already exists within me?

We’re all guided by something greater—the Creator, intuition, that deep knowing we sometimes ignore. And while others can reflect that wisdom back to us, it’s our job to listen inward and not just upward.

An Invitation to Anyone on This Journey

If you’ve ever found yourself putting your mentor’s voice above your own, I want you to know: You’re not weak. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re just evolving. It’s beautiful to admire someone. It’s brave to learn from them. But it’s powerful to know when it’s time to reclaim your agency and walk in your own truth. Let your mentors be mirrors, not Gods. Let their light remind you of the light within you. And as you grow, trust that you’re not here to be a replica of someone else.

You’re here to be fully YOU!